男求む、女求む

日曜日、新聞の時間。「The Hindu」紙、2010年9月5日付、結婚広告欄。原文のまま引用する。

Bridegrooms wanted

"Reputed child care institution seeks employed and well settled bridegroom, age 27 to 32 years for accomplished girl of 26 years old, brought up in Tamilian culture and values. Religion and caste no bar. Write to [...]"

"BWajam, Vadama, Visakam-3, BE, MBA, Feb 84/162cms, attractive, seeks handsome groom MS/MBA/PhD below 30 years well settled, clean habits, preferably working in Chennai, or United States. Send PHP: [...]"

"Gavara Naidu good looking B.TECH SWE Chennai Pooratathi 25/158 Suddhajathagam seeks suitable qualified professional groom with clean habits from decent family. E-mail: [...]"

Brides wanted

"Ernakulam based parents from strong Syrian Catholic family invite alliance for son 32 years/175cm/60Kg, B.Tech electronics, completing work integrated MS in Dec.2010 currently project manager in leading MNC at Bangalore and with ten years experience in the MNC, salary Rs [=ルピーのこと、theroad.ch注] 1 Lac PM [1 Lac = 100000、theroad.ch注]. Financially sound. He is taking medicine for mild mood swings (Valprol CR 300) once a day. With this he is leading a succesful life and career. Interested Malayalee Christian girls with minimum graduation can contact at e-mail: [...]"

"Hindu-Ezhava, aristocratic and highly educated parents from southern Kerala seeks alliance for the remarriage of their legally divorced only son, handsome, 185cm high, engineer with managements degree, aged 29, working as a senior management executive in a reputed multinational company in Oman from parent of postgraduates, good looking, tall girls of similar reputed family background. Horoscope details of the boy is: Star-Thiruvathira, Time and DOB [=生年月日、theroad.ch注] afternoon 12:55, April 10, 1981. Contact [...]"

"Hindu SC Arunthatiyar 29/162/BE MBA, smart goodlooking associate BNP Paribas seek bride below 25 fair qualified doctor/engineer from good family apply with bio-data/photo/horoscope. Contact [...]"

「男求む」と「女求む」の比率は、おおよそ1対4。身長、体重、学位、カースト、星座、生まれた分、月給、果てはご機嫌の波を抑える一日分の薬の量まで。ここでは恋愛が、職務内容書と応募書類つきの管理職ポストのように募集されている。表計算の人間である私は、さぞ居心地がいいはずだ。それでも統計のほうが好きだ。心の行方まで決めてしまわない限りは。